September 15, 2006

• traits

  i find the articles on askmen.com to be funny but also insightful. here's two to check out. single or not. sometimes it's good to see if you're realistic or not. cheers!
  

  Top 10: Traits Of A Great Boyfriend

  By

  Eric Heston
  

  Relationship Correspondent - Every 2nd Sunday

  
  

  PAGES: | 1 | 2 |

  A successful romance can be quite formulaic, for there are certain elements of dating that guys should never overlook. And with all the women out there who complain that their boyfriends are not satisfying them one way or another, one has to wonder: Do guys really know how to be good boyfriends or is it just impossible to satisfy women? With that, here are 10 positive traits of attached men. And if you possess just about all of the following, then perhaps the problems in the relationship don't lie with you. Number 10 You listen When words come out of her mouth, do you actually pay attention to what is being said, or does your brain just process mumbling sounds while you stare at her chest? A good boyfriend is an active listener, meaning he asks questions and doesn't just sit there, waiting for his turn to speak. Showing her that you have a genuine interest in what she has to say means, among other things, that you respect her opinions and find her interesting; two things that will meet any woman's criteria. Number 9 You're spontaneous A great relationship is one that never feels stale. So to avoid having your flames of desire burn out, you have to be unpredictable and mysterious in order to keep her guessing (and on her toes). Whether you whisk her away to a Mexican resort at the last minute or show up, for no apparent reason, with Chinese takeout, wine and a pair of handcuffs, spontaneity can add some real excitement to the romance, and intrigue her all the more. Women love to be swept away in as many different ways as possible; it's up to you to come up with as many ideas as you can. Number 8 You satisfy her bedroom desires Saying that sex is important would be a gross understatement. A good boyfriend must satisfy his woman's every romantic need (and yes, she should reciprocate). There's a difference between making love just for the sake of it, and being passionate about it. That means never skipping foreplay, sending her soothing messages during the act (Note: it's okay to ask her, point-blank, what she likes), and not falling asleep the minute you're done. Number 7 You're not whipped She may feel more empowered by it in the beginning, but in the long run, no woman wants a passive, submissive man who completely compromises his personality to make her happy. Retain your personality, stand by your opinions, and don't give in too easily. Show her that you are strong, confident, and have a spine. Number 6 You notice the small stuff Did she suddenly get highlights in her hair, shed a few pounds, or buy a new dress? These are all things you need to take note of; most women instinctively flock to guys with keen eyes. It shows that you are attentive and don't skim over life's more subtle details.

  
  Number 5

  You give her space

  Trust is the foundation of any good relationship. Part of that entails giving her the freedom to have a life separate from yours without asking 20 questions or having jealous fits, and knowing that she's not taking your trust for granted.

  Keep things in perspective; would you like a girlfriend who kept tabs
  on every move you made? Probably not, and the same goes for her. And
  always look for a silver lining; in this case, you'll have time to hang
  out with your buddies, and have something to talk to her about the next time you see her.

  Number 4

  You respect her (and her family)
  It's
  important to avoid letting your ego get the best of you, so if your
  mentality is stuck in the '50s, you must adjust to changing times. You
  have to understand that she's an equal part of the relationship, so
  appreciate her company.

  Likewise, try to embrace her family early on. In addition to scoring
  precious points, being kind and courteous toward her parents is a good
  way to show that you're serious about the relationship. This includes,
  but is not limited to, bringing the parents thoughtful little gifts
  every so often, and planning activities that include her whole family,
  like a picnic. Of course, I'm assuming that you've already survived
  that dreadful first meeting.

  Number 3

  You better yourself
  Demonstrating
  what a positive effect your woman has had on you is a fantastic way of
  gaining leverage. Whether you're getting yourself back into shape,
  improving your vocabulary, or forgetting about the television
  long enough to take dance lessons with her, it doesn't matter.
  Improving yourself is a great way of letting her know she deserves the
  best, and she'll be flattered that she was the inspiration behind your
  desire to aim higher.

  Number 2

  You challenge her to be better

  Likewise, your role in her life should be just as beneficial. You should inspire her to make changes
  that reflect the positive effect you've had on her. If, for example,
  you see her letting a great talent go to waste, encourage her; maybe
  that's all she needs. Don't be afraid to sign her up for an art class,
  or push her to pursue a career you know she'd be good at. The fact that
  you care that much about her well-being will make her want to keep you
  around longer.

  Number 1

  You make her feel beautiful
  Reminding
  her how beautiful she is comes with making her feel good, and makes you
  a poster boyfriend. Best of all: simplicity and honesty are all you
  need. Buy her, say, a card that expresses your appreciation, compliment
  her at odd times, and if you feel that she's the most gorgeous creature
  you've ever laid eyes on, be sure to let her know. Women want to look
  good for their men, and proving to her that you only have eyes for her
  will be a validation of that.

  keep each other happy

  What it all boils down to is making her feel good about herself and
  appreciating her in an unselfish way; find success in this department,
  and she will love you eternally. More importantly, however; if I've
  just finished describing you and she still takes issue with the little
  things, then maybe it's time for you to reevaluate how good a partner she really is.

  
   
  
  Article Suggested By:

  Michael Lowell, Cleveland, OH
  
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  ---------------

  Top 10: Traits Of A Great Girlfriend

  By

  Jonathan Carlson
  

  Relationship Correspondent - Every 2nd Sunday

  
  

  PAGES: | 1 | 2 |

  I must admit that playing the field is a whole lot of fun, but so is being in a serious relationship -- provided that it's with the right woman. But how do you know if she really is the right woman for you? If she possesses the following 10 traits, you better hold on to her for dear life or, before you know it, a guy who already knows where it's at will get his hands on your "goods." Number 10 She's independent No one wants a girlfriend they have to baby-sit. Once in a while, like if she's had a rough day at work, it's great to be her shoulder to cry on, but if she can't seem to function without you and is constantly after you, she will eventually make you feel like you're suffocating, which is a surefire way to get you running out the nearest exit. On the other hand, if she has her very own personality and opinions, can stand on her own two feet, both financially and emotionally, and is able to enjoy time away from you -- while still missing you, of course -- then she must be a great girlfriend. Number 9 She's intelligent I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the bimbo routine gets real old, real fast. A woman who can meet you at an intellectual level is a total turn-on. Instead of being the one in total control, you'll find yourself trying to figure out what she's really thinking behind those glazed eyes of hers -- or if she's actually thinking at all. An intelligent woman will constantly surprise you and keep you on your toes. She won't let you get bored of her. Besides, it's nice to have something to talk about between all that chandelier-hanging sex. Number 8 She's sexual While we're on the topic, a great girlfriend has to be sexually compatible with you. For instance, if you're into S&M and she's more the "fluffy lingerie" type, that's a problem. The two of you have to be on the same page -- or, at least, she has to be willing to wear leather and use a whip from time to time. Of course, this doesn't imply that she has to know all the right moves straight away; it simply means that you and she have an undeniable attraction towards each other, and are able to communicate your desires verbally (or with physical cues). It is important that you please each other in the bedroom, or on top of the dryer -- whatever the case may be. Number 7 She's beautiful I know, this one is kind of obvious, but important nonetheless. A great girlfriend will not only want to look good for you, but also for herself. She should always look her best and be well put together -- matching lingerie is a definite plus. You have to be proud to have her on your arm and enjoy the sight of her in any light. And this doesn't mean that she has to be a Heidi Klum clone. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so if you think her full bottom or uncontrollable curls are beautiful, you're allowed. Number 6 She respects you This is a biggie. Your woman must respect you. This means that she listens to you, even if she doesn't necessarily agree with what you're saying. And, of course, she never tries to demean or belittle you in any way, shape, or form. A great girlfriend won't ever cause scenes in public or in front of your friends and family, and will always wait to discuss matters with you in private. If she respects you, chances are that she will behave in a tactful and diplomatic manner in most situations, which is definitely a good thing. Does your woman bring you and the guys beer on poker night? Next >>

  Number 5

  She lets you be a man
  Do not -- I repeat -- do not get involved with a woman who tries to get
  you to eat cottage cheese and fruit for breakfast and insists that you
  give up poker night with the guys. You will end up resenting her more than you can imagine. A good girlfriend
  lets you be a guy in all your glory, poker night and all. If she's a
  great girlfriend, she'll even bring you and your buddies a couple of
  beers and make you some of her famous sandwiches.

  She has to understand that men and women are different and should allow
  you to be yourself. Just like you wouldn't deprive her of going
  shopping with her best girlfriend, she shouldn't expect you to give up
  the guys for her.

  Number 4

  She's nagless

  There is nothing worse than a nag!
  A great girlfriend knows this and chooses her battles wisely. She knows
  when to speak-up and when to let it slide. You don't want a girlfriend
  who will give you the heights of hell for leaving a couple of dishes in the sink occasionally.

  However, if you live together and you stay out all night without
  calling her, and she lets you have it, then you're setting yourself up
  for disaster. This is a situation that nobody would let slide -- not
  even a great girlfriend.

  Number 3

  She gets along with friends & family
  A great girlfriend will not only help your mom in the kitchen, listen
  to your dad's stories, and hang out with your friends, she will enjoy
  it. She'll make a real effort to get to know and love the most
  important people in your life. And she won't try to get you to ditch
  your best buds.

  She'll actually empathize with your brother's getting dumped and
  suggest that you guys take him out to cheer him up. Not only that, but
  your friends won't roll their eyes and moan when you mention that
  she'll be joining you guys when she gets off work (yes, women like this
  do exist).

  Number 2

  She loves you
  If you have found a woman who loves you for who you really are and not
  who you pretend or try to be sometimes, you should definitely hang on
  to her. A woman who doesn't try to change you is hard to find. Of
  course, everyone has their slightly annoying habits that their mate has
  to contend with, but if she really loves you, she will be able to cope
  with these.

  Another way to know if she really loves you is by observing the way she
  looks at you and treats you on an everyday basis. If the sight of you
  doesn't seem to faze her either way, and she doesn't really seem to
  care about what you have to say, she's either playing very hard to get,
  or sees you as just some guy. But if a surprise visit or phone call
  from you makes her light up, there's no denying that she loves you.

  Number 1

  She makes you want to be a better man

  Stop making that face... Any man who has a great girlfriend or wife
  will tell you that she makes him want to be a better man. She doesn't
  have to say or do anything; it just is that way. If you suddenly feel
  bad about how you treated your sister or find yourself trying to get
  your finances in order, you might want to think about your motivation
  for doing so. It could be love.

  do you already have her?

  So, if this list seems to describe your current flame, you, my friend,
  are styling. In fact, you are probably the envy of all of your friends,
  even if they tease you for losing your status as "king player."

  However, if the woman you are dating
  is more like the polar opposite, then I don't think that getting
  serious with her would be in your best interest -- but you knew that
  already, didn't you?

  
   
  
  Article Suggested By:

  Stan B., Miami, FL
  
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