March 4, 2007

• Trust & Love

  Trust

  1. Trust is a two way street; you get it if you give it. For example: if you want your parents
     to trust you try trusting them with the truth about what is going on in your life, if you want a relationship
     built on trust you have to trust in the other person as much as you do in yourself.
  2. Parents will usually give trust freely until you do something to break it. If this isn't the case in
     your family and you really can't see why your parents don't trust you just come right out and ask them for an explanation.
  3. Sometimes people don't trust you because of the actions of a person close to you. It is all too common
     for the behavior of older siblings or friends to cause parents and teachers to doubt you. Accept that this is what
     is happening, don't fight it, and work at proving that in spite of the actions of others you can be trusted.
  4. Sometimes trust has to be earned. If you had trust but did something to break it, it is possible to fix things.
     But in doing so remember that as the trust breaker you don't get to set the expectations, terms or time frame for
     earning that trust back.
  5. In order to fix broken trust both sides have to want the trust back. You can never force a person to trust you.
  6. Your parents want to trust you! What you see as mistrust of you could really be fear, mistrust of those around you and/or
     their natural protective instincts at work.
  7. Some people have been so badly hurt in the past that they have great difficulty trusting others. If you have a
     person like this in your life accept that there will always be an element of mistrust in your relationship and be prepared
     to work overtime to prove that you can be trusted.
  8. Trust is an essential part of ALL successful relationships be they academic, romantic, friendly or
     familial.
  9. Trust is an essential part of sex - if you don't trust your partner 110% don't have sex with them.
  10. Trust is a gift - you give it and you receive it. It should never be taken for granted.

  Love

  1. Love does not hurt. Physical and/or emotional abuse are not a part of love.
  2. Love is not manipulative, it should not be used to get others to do what you want. You should never give in to demands
     based on the, "You would do it if you loved me!" tactic.
  3. Love is an intense feeling of caring for another person. It can take many different forms (romantic, friendly, familial) but
     it is always about caring.
  4. Although it is true that a big part of love is putting another person's happiness ahead of your own this never
     includes compromising your values or being untrue to yourself.
  5. If
     somebody asks you to do something that you don't want to do in order to
     "prove" your love they do not love you the way
     you might think they do. When you love another person you don't ask
     them to sacrifice a part of themselves in the name of that love.
  6. It is very easy to confuse lust for love. The true measure of romantic love is commitment and trust not
     physical attraction.
  7. It is possible to feel romantic love for more than one person at a given time. Just think, if it is possible for you to love
     both of your parents at the same time why would it be impossible to feel romantic love for two people at once? Don't beat
     yourself up emotionally if you find yourself in this unhappy situation. But be sure to remain single and be open and honest
     with all parties about your feelings and confusion.
  8. Sex is NOT love. Love is NOT sex. Sex can be a part of romantic love but it is never mandatory.
  9. Romantic love can (and often does) fade. When it goes there is not always a reason. When somebody falls out of love
     with you it does not reflect upon your value as a person or your desirability.
  10. Love should make you feel happy, secure and appreciated.

  • 11:35 am
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