December 27, 2006
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communication is key. (or so this site claims)
http://peoplerelationships.syl.com/communicationinrelationships:
Communication in relationships
Difficulty
in communication between men and women is a well-known fact, bringing
up the reasons for the battle of sexes. Basing on experience of
professional consultants, we have found out a very interesting, though
an easy answer: Why men and women can’t do with each other in business
and private life? The answer is - they are not able to communicate in
proper way.Couples break up their relationships (even long-term) easily just
because they lack mutual understanding. Failure of keen and strong
sexual desire means that love has died as well.
Many couples would hardly like to discover the main plausible reason of misunderstandings and quarrels.Common, but sometimes hidden problems and a good piece of advice are
presented here for you to improve communication with the opposite sex.All changes are for the better
Whether one
believes in it or not, but all that he/she needs to make the
relationships healthier is just to learn how to communicate. At first,
one should find out what is the difference between sexes, and then try
to learn so–called sore spots that we (purposely or non purposely)
touch, hurting each other. Coping with these two points sometimes
requires reconsidering the model of behavior in general for adult
person.Why should you change?
One is most likely to
reject the idea of changing himself/herself, appealing to the following
forcible arguments: Why should I behave another way? This is me, no
matter whether you like me or not. Before thinking this idea over yet
again, ask yourself a simple question: do you still want to know how to
communicate? The methods, given below, will prove their effectiveness
in practice only in case you accept them implicitly.Find common interests:
If you don’t share each
other’s interests or have nothing to talk about, you will be bored to
death being together. Try to take a step forward to improvement of your
relationships by changing the situation to uniting your interests. For
example, one weekend you may do what your partner is interested in, and
the next weekend you will do what is interesting for you. Don’t forget
to talk. It is a good way to expand the interest area through the
interests, typical for your partner.Don’t transform dialogue into monologue
Men are
used to soliloquize, especially while talking to women. Women – on the
contrary – ask too many questions, change subjects of conversation
frequently, tell long and intricate stories. Making an attempt to
carry on a dialogue with your partner, listen carefully, speak
distinctly and steadily. Don’t speak too much about yourself, ask
“free questions” that imply the answers “yes” or “no”. Communication is
an equal interchange of views, which further an opportunity to
understand your interlocutor sooner and better.Listen and watch carefully
Verbal contact is a
very important aspect of communication. Women are better listeners than
men; in the course of conversation they smile pleasantly and nod, even
though they don’t share the partner’s opinion. Such a manner won’t help
to begin and develop a real contact between the interlocutors. You’d
better show your feelings and emotions, but at the same time be polite
and reserved, even if you totally disagree with the interlocutor.
Being interrupted by the partner (what can be more irritating), ask
him/her politely to let you finish expressing your point of view. If
words don’t work, attract the attention by touching mildly his/her arm.Don’t interrupt people
Catch the general idea
of the partner’s speech, do not correct his/her point of view. In order
to cope with it try to do the following exercise: breathe in, outwind
and then breathe out slowly, giving your interlocutor an opportunity to
conclude the idea. Or even bite your tongue - sounds funny and strange?
But it works!Speak so that to be heard
Mind the sound of your voice, make it pleasant, reach and deep. Try to do the following exercises:
-breathe in and try to say a few words while breathing out,
-tighten the muscles of your belly and relax them when you begin to talk.
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