Larry. 

Words cannot express how much you are missed by everyone you've ever met, known and loved and how hard we are all finding it to believe that you are no longer with us and find the meaning you would have helped us discover in your passing. 

Even though it's been a week, I'm in denial that I will never get to see you again or get a random IM passing by to say hello and see how I am, you will always be with me and all of the people you care about. 

You lived your life with so much compassion and heart - the inspiration of your life and the friendship you shared with me, and the persistence in which you refused to let me ever feel alone or down and out even when others chose to abandon me and avoid complications.....will always stay with me. 

I  know I will always remember you and be reminded to appreciate the good in life and to be optimistic and sure that everything will be alright and does happen for a reason when I do.  You and your life were an inspiration to all of us.  One of those rare and special people who truly knew what it meant to be a friend and live with meaning...thank you for your friendship, for your kind words and for sharing your life with all of us and me.

I will miss you, but this is not goodbye...for your messages will stay with me and I know I will meet you again someday...  Rest In Peace Larry.  Thank you for bringing meaning into all of our lives.

Mira Nair

I'm so glad San Franciscans are protesting...as detrimental as it is for my job, I LOVE IT!!
I wish I wasn't working so I could go protest too.

Yesterday the protest was just outside of our building on Market, apparently during lunch they decided to lie down and block people from exiting their buildings.  Must have been annoying. I wish I saw, I was skipping lunch and went to get food hours later and got to be near the protests.

America has been asleep too long.  We're so far removed from the war in our sheltered middle class society that we forget that there's a whole world out there and that in Iraq war DOES exist and it's like nothing we know and for the sake of both American soldiers and Iraq's people, this war mindless war needs to end.

Yesterday I was in the lift and the news bulletin TV thingy in it said that Condolesa Rice is asking Americans for patience as we enter our 7th year of war in Iraq.

PATIENCE.   i think that's something hasty people should not ask for, especially when they have hastily destroyed lives and worlds - do we even know what we're fighting for any more?  weapons? oil? 911?

Isn't seven years enough already?  This is our Vietnam...it doesn't matter what the arguments are for the war, what is done is done and clearly there seems to be no end...we need to just stop fighting and stop the mad violence.  This war has got to end.

i'm sick a lot these days...every month...i need to take better care of myself..and SO DO YOU!!!
so here's a bit of good advice stolen from geminihotty

Food as Medicine

HEADACHE? EAT FISH!
Eat plenty of fish -- fish oil helps prevent headaches.
So does ginger, which reduces inflammation and pain.

HAY FEVER? EAT YOGURT!
Eat lots of yogurt before pollen season.
Also-eat honey from your area (local region) daily.

TO PREVENT STROKE DRINK TEA!
Prevent buildup of fatty deposits on artery walls with regular doses of tea. (actually, tea suppresses my appetite and keeps the pounds from invading....Green tea is great for our immune system)!

INSOMNIA (CAN'T SLEEP?) HONEY!
Use honey as a tranquilizer and sedative.

ASTHMA? EAT ONIONS!!!!
Eating onions helps ease constriction of bronchial tubes. (when
I was young, my mother would make onion packs to place on our chest,
helped the respiratory ailments and actually made us breathe better).

ARTHRITIS? EAT FISH, TOO!!
Salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines actually prevent arthritis. (fish has omega oils, good for our immune system)

UPSET STOMACH?  BANANAS - GINGER!!!!!
Bananas will settle an upset stomach.
Ginger will cure morning sickness and nausea.

BLADDER INFECTION? DRINK CRANBERRY JUICE!!!!
High-acid cranberry juice controls harmful bacteria.

BONE PROBLEMS? EAT PINEAPPLE!!!
Bone fractures and osteoporosis can be prevented by the manganese in pineapple.

PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME? EAT CORNFLAKES!!!!
Women can ward off the effects of PMS with cornflakes, which help reduce depression, anxiety and fatigue.

MEMORY PROBLEMS? EAT OYSTERS!
Oysters help improve your mental functioning by supplying much-needed zinc.

COLDS? EAT GARLIC!
Clear up that stuffy head with garlic. (remember, garlic lowers cholesterol, too.)

COUGHING? USE RED PEPPERS!!
A
substance similar to that found in the cough syrups is found in hot red
pepper. Use red (cayenne) pepper with caution-it can irritate your
tummy.

BREAST CANCER?  EAT Wheat, bran and cabbage
Helps to maintain estrogen at healthy levels.

LUNG CANCER? EAT DARK GREEN AND ORANGE AND VEGGIES!!!
A good antidote is beta carotene, a form of Vitamin A found in dark green and orange vegetables.

ULCERS? EAT CABBAGE ALSO!!!
Cabbage contains chemicals that help heal both gastric and duodenal ulcers.

DIARRHEA? EAT APPLES!
Grate an apple with its skin, let it turn brown and eat it to cure this condition. (Bananas are good for this ailment)

CLOGGED ARTERIES? EAT AVOCADO!
Mono unsaturated fat in avocados lowers cholesterol.

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE? EAT CELERY AND OLIVE OIL!!!
Olive oil has been shown to lower blood pressure.
Celery contains a chemical that lowers pressure too.

BLOOD SUGAR IMBALANCE? EAT BROCCOLI AND PEANUTS!!!
The chromium in broccoli and peanuts helps regulate insulin and blood sugar.

Kiwi:
Tiny but mighty. This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, Vitamin
E & fiber. It's Vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.

Apple:
An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low
Vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoids which enhances
the activity of Vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon
cancer, heart attack & stroke.

Strawberry:
Protective fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power
among major fruits & protects the body from cancer causing, blood
vessels clogging free radicals. (Actually,
any berry is good for you..they're high in anti-oxidants and they
actually keep us young.........blueberries are the best and very
versatile in the health field........they get rid of all the
free-radicals that invade our bodies)

Orange:
Sweetest medicine. Taking 2 - 4 oranges a day may help keep colds away,
lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones as well as
lessen the risk of colon cancer.

Watermelon:
Coolest Thirst Quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with
a giant dose of glutathione which helps boost our immune system.  They
are also a key source of lycopene - the cancer fighting oxidant.  Other
nutrients  
found in watermelon are Vitamin C & Potassium. (watermelon
also has natural substances [natural SPF sources] that keep our skin
healthy, protecting our skin from those darn uv rays)

Guava & Papaya:
Top awards for Vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high
Vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber which helps prevent
constipation.

Papaya is rich in carotene, this is good for your eyes. (also good for gas and indigestion)

Tomatoes are very good as a preventative measure for men, keeps those prostrate problems from invading their bodies.

today's word of the day:  specious.

some things in life are just specious.  in theory, things seem great...in reality it's far from healthy.
in theory..i'm stronger, in reality...i'm strong but also not.

sometimes u wonder about value.
what do u value in your day?
what do you value in others?
do i value myself? 
do i find value enough in life?
do i take the time to really make sure my life is lived and surrounded in value?  or are we collectors of empty impulse buys?

take the time to appreciate the things in your life...never be afraid to be grateful. take care in what you choose and do.
take better care of yourself. take the effort to indulge in happiness. don't let pride get in the way of sincerity.
then things will stop being so specious and every moment in reality will be as precious and real as the last.

despite myself...

i find myself missing you.
against better judgement i reminisce of a time
of moments that were nearly perfect...
images flip through my mind...an album of all the things i had held dear
tightly grasped to fill in gaps in a fairy tale only i saw

somehow we existed with a missing element.
it's funny how so many things are better with rose colored glasses.
the glasses broke...i need a new pair.

now i just want to know how to breathe again...normally.
i want to know that this pain won't last forever...
some things are not meant to be...letting go of something u believed in is like asking me to kill a beloved child.

why doesn't the world stop and wait for me to catch up?
i guess i wanted to know that you would have known me better...but hoping...
aimlessly hoping and dreaming isn't healthy when there's no footing in reality.
after so many years and seconds of wishing for you to know the loneliness i've perpetually known..
the ache in knowing a love could only be reciprocated in theory.
the care i so longed for...

the pain in seeing that even now, you still haven't figured out that the only thing i ever wanted was warmth
a warm touch and soft heart...tender love and care.
long ago i remember being careless with my heart..
please handle with care was written in small print on a tag easily discarded.
now i wish i never trusted with my eyes closed so tightly in hoping.

but i'm glad...despite the hurt and tears...i am thankful..
no matter how hurt that you can't even be sensitive enough to call and see how i'm doing and be kinder and more open with your thoughts.
when you should know me well enough to know i'm drowning...

regardless...the memories and the dream i held onto for so long will stay with me.
and i have you to thank for them...and i will cherish them for a lifetime..and my wish now...is for you to find that light to brighten the darkness you live in...and for me to find one that isn't a mirage. and for both of us to be happy...you will always be a part of me...but i have to take better care of myself, mend this broken heart and find a way to feel whole again.

dear love...please take care and know you will always be loved.
you mean so much to me...someday...i hope you will come to know that...
and see us in the way i have for a million years within the crevices of my heart and mind and someday...
i hope you will be lucky enough to love in that way too.

i'm glad we'll always be here for each other and be best friends. i'm sure we'll be true friends to each other in the years to come. 

"I cannot go to school today,"

Said little Peggy Ann McKay.

"I have the measles and the mumps,

A gash, a rash and purple bumps.

My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,

I'm going blind in my right eye.

My tonsils are as big as rocks,

I've counted sixteen chicken pox

And there's one more--that's seventeen,

And don't you think my face looks green?

My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--

It might be instamatic flu.

I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,

I'm sure that my left leg is broke--

My hip hurts when I move my chin,

My belly button's caving in,

My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,

My 'pendix pains each time it rains.

My nose is cold, my toes are numb.

I have a sliver in my thumb.

My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,

I hardly whisper when I speak.

My tongue is filling up my mouth,

I think my hair is falling out.

My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,

My temperature is one-o-eight.

My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,

There is a hole inside my ear.

I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?

What's that? What's that you say?

You say today is. . .Saturday?

G'bye, I'm going out to play!"


- Shel Silverstein

I STILL THINK THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST POEMS EVER.

last night I had a very insightful talk with my friend.
he said that you have to be ready to share the love someone else wants to share with you.

i just feel that he hit the nail on the spot about love.
you have to be ready to love someone and also to love them back
to appreciate both ways and cherish.
commit to the decision to really be in a serious relationship.
this of course is different if you're supposed to be in a casual place - in that case just be honest.